Is Carlos Beltran on Drugs?
Last week, Carlos Beltran did not slide into home because he said he had his eyes on the ball and didn’t realize that the catcher was blocking the plate.
Where else he thought a catcher might be positioned, with the ball loose in the infield, is anyone’s guess.
His exact quote:
“When I took off to home plate, I was watching the ball, and when I looked at home plate, I was too close for me to slide into home plate”
OK, whatever. When a guy is hitting over .400, you cut him some slack.
However, yesterday, Beltran again did not slide, but this time, it was not the plate but second base — on an attempted steal.
“I heard contact with the bat,” Beltran said. “I went to look at where the ball was. Basically, I got surprised at second base. It was a mistake. I should have slid right there, but basically that’s the first time that’s happened in my career.”
I’ll reiterate the key phrase, in case you missed it:
“I heard contact with the bat …”
For the record, David Wright took the pitch, watch it all the way into the catcher’s mitt. He didn’t swing. The only “contact” the ball made was with leather.
Clearly, Carlos Beltran is not that dumb, so he must be on drugs. That’s what his parents would suspect, right? For example, if your kids came home with all Cs and Ds on their report card, the first thing you’d ask is, “What’s a matta wich you, kid? You on drugs? ARE YOU ON DRUGS??!!!”
If these drugs help Beltran hit .400, but cause him to go standing into bases periodically, then please, Carlos, keep taking them — and share them with your teammates. And make sure MLB can’t test for them. Sliding is overrated anyway.