My Christmas List
This is what I asked for from Santa for Christmas:
1. One pair of ace starting pitchers
2. A fully healed left shoulder attached to Johan Santana
3. A new home for Oliver Perez
4. Two flamethrowers for the bullpen
5. Bionic knees for Carlos Beltran
6. Buster Posey
7. Bernie Madoff’s season tickets behind home plate
That’s it. I think with all of the above, the Mets would be fun for me to watch, and they’d have a good shot at the postseason.
What did you ask for?
4. Two flamethrowers for the bullpen (one a good lefty).
8. Continued improvement for Pagan, Thole, Davis, Parnell, and Dickey.
9. A surprise year for someone, say Murphy.
10. A great year for Reyes.
11. Real effort (e.g., running hard to first base; taking out the pivot guy, getting in front of grounders when possible).
Sign DJ Carrasco, possibly to start. Check.
Fire Jerry Replace him with Art Howe II. Cheeeeck
I always get what I want every holiday season!
I can use my Met’s season tickets in the fireplace to provide warmth for my family this Christmas, who said ball players can’t pay your bills?
2. Jose Reyes has legs that can make it through a season.
3. David Wright stops swinging at air.
4. The young starting pitchers start believing in themselves.
5. R.A. Dickey stays the same.
6. K Rod strikes out batters, not family members.
7. The Yankees pick up Oliver Perez as their new starting pitcher.