NOTE: this is a work of FICTION by Corey Gorey. His “Page Two Tuesday” was moved back to Thursday due to inclement weather.

After a lengthy debate during a recent production meeting at SNY, a segment recorded and edited for the Mets Weekly program was deemed objectionable by executives and subsequently shelved by the network. An unnamed twenty-two year-old production assistant given the task of depositing the source material in the production team’s library leaked the video online and was subsequently fired. While the blog responsible for hosting the controversial clip has since taken it down due to a cease and desist order from SNY and Sterling Mets, a now ex-contributing writer for the offending Mets fan site has transcribed the segment for dissemination below.