Mike, Matt – Come to Weehawken

Enough of this he-said, he-said stuff going back and forth between the airwaves and blogosphere … Matt, Mike, settle this Ryan Church nonsense like MEN!

That’s right, the good old-fashioned way: with a duel !

Matt Cerrone Mike Francesa duel

It just so happens I live about a quarter mile from the location of the infamous Aaron Burr – Alexander Hamilton duel of 1804, and I’ll be happy to obtain the necessary permits and take care of whatever other details are necessary so you two can settle the score. There hasn’t been a duel here in 160 years so I’m sure the mayor will be happy to receive you (the town can use the revenues and associated PR).

So put on your wigs, hop on a ferry, and come on over to Weehawken to settle your dispute in a traditional affair of honor. Don’t forget your musket.

Joe Janish began MetsToday in 2005 to provide the unique perspective of a high-level player and coach -- he earned NCAA D-1 All-American honors as a catcher and coached several players who went on to play pro ball. As a result his posts often include mechanical evaluations, scout-like analysis, and opinions that go beyond the numbers. Follow Joe's baseball tips on Twitter at @onbaseball and at the On Baseball Google Plus page.
  1. themetsblog November 6, 2008 at 11:17 am
    An epic battle between the poster child for arrogant Yankee fans and the poster child for naive, whiny Mets fans who wet their pants when someone takes Jose Reyes’ name in vain. Here’s how I see it going down:

    Matt: Mr. Francessa, I think you’re a loud mouth Yankee fan and I will now slay you with this commemorative mini-bat I was given as payment for being a Mets sycophant. That said, I really am a big fan and maybe I shouldn’t slay you at all.

    Mike: Next calla… (waves hand).

    Matt: Sources inside SNY tell me that you are going to be paired with another Yankees fan during your radio show and that makes me angry. That said, I am a really big fan and I don’t like getting angry because sometimes it clouds my judgement.

    Mike: I said next calla! Get off the phone line already… (waves hand, sips a Diet Coke). Eddie? What the heck is going on in there?

    Matt: Sources close to a guy who knows a groupie that hangs out with Jose Reyes tell me that you don’t really understand that I am about to slay you with a mini-bat. Adam Rubin is reporting that you think I am a caller, but I’m actually standing before you. That said, maybe I really AM a caller.

    (A ninja jumps out of a tree)

    Mike: It’s the Tuna!

    (Ninja takes off mask, revealing that it is Ted Berg).

    Ted: No, it is I, Theodore Berg! VORP Ninja!

    Matt: I didn’t know you were a ninja Ted!?!

    Ted: I’m not a ninja, but I read a book about ninjas once. And I took some drama classes once.

    Mike: We’re back…

  2. sincekindergarten November 6, 2008 at 6:03 pm
    TMB, . . . :p

    Anyway, as long as Matt gets an Army-issue Beretta M9, fully stoked (and with two extra 15-shot clips), and Francessa has to use a pistol that was used in the actual Burr-Hamilton duel, I wouldn’t mind seeing that.

  3. joe November 6, 2008 at 10:21 pm
    Matt doesn’t need that kind of advantage, I assure you. We’ll feed Francesa glazed donuts during the ferry ride and his fingers will be too slippery to pull the trigger.

    And just in case, we’ll get Chris Russo to show up and distract him by giving his opinion on the Yankees … Francesa won’t be able to resist, and in the middle of turning to Russo and saying, “Dawg, yaw wrong …” Matt will get him right between the eyes.

  4. Schmidtxc November 7, 2008 at 9:57 am
    There’s also ALOT more of francesa to hit….
  5. joe November 7, 2008 at 12:11 pm
    Excellent point, Schmidt. Matt’s pretty quick and spry, too.
  6. […] seems so long ago, but this wasn’t the first time Mike Francesa criticized Matt […]