In case you missed it, you must read the explanation by Julian Tavarez, as to why he signed with the lowly Washington Nationals instead of a pennant-contending team.

“Why did I sign with the Nationals?” Tavarez said then. “When you go to a club until 4 a.m. and [are] just waiting, waiting, a 600-pounder looks like J-Lo. And to me, this is Jennifer Lopez right here. It’s four in the morning. Too much to drink. All the girls look hot. So the Nationals are Jennifer Lopez to me.”

Hmm … so how many beers would the Nationals be? Are they a 5-beer team? 10-beer? 15-beer?

As if this story couldn’t get any funnier, here is another classic quote from the man who makes Manny Ramirez seem not too flaky.

If he makes the team, Tavarez wants to be a mentor to the young relievers such as Joel Hanrahan and Mike Hinckley.

“I’m going to be in the bullpen with those guys,” Tavarez said. “Whatever questions they ask, I’m happy to answer them. I want to tell them they have to be on time, they have to be there for the national anthem and for the first pitch. I have to get to know them, because I don’t want them to think because I’m a 16-year veteran I’m picking on them. I will not do that. When I was coming up in the Major Leagues, I was not treated like that.”

Um, yeah … if I have a stable full of young, impressionable pitchers, I’m welcoming in Julian Tavarez with open arms, and counting on him to be a mentor to them. Yeah. Exactly.

Good luck with that, Nats !