Being that it’s Election Day and all, I wonder if the next Mets manager could be based on the results of a vote by the people?
Of course this is a fantasy, but hypothetically speaking, who would be the candidates in such an election, and what parties would they represent?
Bob Melvin: Republican, conservative
He’ll stay the course, and dutifully follow the orders set forth by the right-wing lobbyists / upper middle class.
Ken Macha: Democrat, liberal
He’ll also stay the course, but appeal to the left-wing lobbyists / lower middle class.
Bobby Valentine: write-in candidate
He doesn’t consider himself a candidate, but openly lobbies for the job (this is different from Adam Rubin lobby for job) without a party endorsement.
Joe Lieberman: Lieberman Party
Who else is qualified to run as the Lieberman Party candidate? There are a bunch of Mets fans in Connecticut.
Clint Hurdle: Christian Right / Christian Coalition
He will make sure Mets players uphold the virtues set forth by Our Lord Jesus Christ.
Chip Hale: Reform Party
Endorsed by Ross Perot and Jesse Ventura, Hale symbolizes the party’s core belief in centrism.
Tim Teufel: Constitution Party
They couldn’t convince Pat Buchanan to join the ranks, but Tim Teufel would seem a more feasible party leader.
Joe McEwing: Green Party
Ralph Nader became famous after writing the book Unsafe At Any Speed. Similarly, Super Joe’s career 62% basestealing percentage (33 SB, 20 CS) made him unsafe at any speed.
Ken Oberkfell: Worker’s Party
The symbol of the working man, Oberkfell embodies the party’s fundamental vision that all men have a right to a secure job.
Wally Backman: Boston Tea Party
The Tea Partyers long for the the way things were in the 1980s, and tap into the majority’s anger with the two-party system. Like most Tea Party candidates, he is a darkhorse, but on everyone’s radar.