Corey Gorey

CM Gorey is a writer and musician from New York who lives in São Paulo, Brazil. A contributing writer for Time Out São Paulo magazine and online arts magazine Thalo, he is also a composer of TV and film soundtracks, and performer with the electro outfit White Light Lametta. Suffering from a distance, he watches slowly generated, pixelated Mets games on an old netbook. After careful consideration, he has to admit that the return to the classic uniforms was a smart choice, regardless of his penchant for black uniforms.

The Conclusion Jumper: Black Facts

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The year was a bust and the next might be tougher. We’re all dying to hold on to Jose until his legs fall off and on top of that, the NL East competition promises to get even stiffer next season. But before the debate rages about how our Mets will look in 2012 personnel-wise, let’s … Read more

Transcript to the Unaired SNY Mets Weekly Segment: “Regrets”

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NOTE: this is a work of FICTION by Corey Gorey. His “Page Two Tuesday” was moved back to Thursday due to inclement weather.

After a lengthy debate during a recent production meeting at SNY, a segment recorded and edited for the Mets Weekly program was deemed objectionable by executives and subsequently shelved by the network. An unnamed twenty-two year-old production assistant given the task of depositing the source material in the production team’s library leaked the video online and was subsequently fired. While the blog responsible for hosting the controversial clip has since taken it down due to a cease and desist order from SNY and Sterling Mets, a now ex-contributing writer for the offending Mets fan site has transcribed the segment for dissemination below.

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Mets Fans of Tomorrow

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There’s an old episode of The Simpsons you may have seen where Bart and Milhouse are squaring off against each other on the diamond when Bart says, “Look at me! I’m Tomokazu Ohka of the Montreal Expos!” and Milhouse retorts with “Well, I’m Esteban Yan of The Tampa Bay Devil Rays!” It’s as funny now as it was when it first aired, given the unlikelihood of kids finding attributes worth emulating in obscure sub-superstars at the pro level. As we lurch toward another post-season we’ll have no part of, you have to wonder how we keep the children interested.

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Meaningful Games

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I’m not sure how much you know about the organizational structure of soccer. Most national soccer leagues are divided into a first division, second division, and usually a third and a fourth for smaller and perpetually less successful teams. Unlike most American Big League sports, many major clubs eventually hit the far end of a schedule that often ends by crowning the leading team without a single playoff match. For its lack of year-end drama and Cinderella stories, this most-wins-takes-all system has one strong upside:

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